Singapore Invades Pandas' Privacy and Showcases #PandaPorn

Singapore Invades Pandas’ Privacy and Showcases #PandaPorn

Singaporeans are enjoying some #PandaPorn today.

The whole incident has been covered up with sterile words like “breeding behaviours” and “natural mating”, but it all boils down to this: Our giant pandas Kai Kai and Jia Jia were having sex.

They weren’t very good at it though as they were both virgins. The sex session “did not appear to be successful”. But hey, you gotta hand it to them for 40 whole minutes of trying.

The whole nation is excited and this calls for a celebration considering, you know, our low birth rate.

Today, all Singaporeans unite as one to watch some #PandaPorn because, let’s face it, it turns us on a little. Okay maybe a lot. We’d like to say thank you to those who took these sneaky photos, for enlightening us on the Kamasutra positions for giant pandas.

Pondering if these positions can be applied to humans…

Image Credit: Wildlife Reserves Singapore

But honestly though, give these giant pandas some privacy!

Let them smell each other’s rear ends without our prying eyes.

Image Credit: Wildlife Reserves Singapore

Let them make hot and passionate (or rather clumsy and awkward) love without us spreading #PandaPorn on social media like wildfire. (Guilty as charged!)

Image Credit: Wildlife Reserves Singapore

In fact, let their sex lives be a private matter. Spare some thought to how embarrassed these pandas will feel the next time you make a trip to the River Safari. Kai Kai and Jia Jia are national treasures (and tourist attractions too) and we should strive to upkeep their images.

On another note, never say no to Panda(porn)!

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