For the longest time, if someone was to randomly asks me off the streets to name my favourite Bavarian dish, about 90% of the time, I will proudly say “Bavarian crème filled donut, duh!” That’s without batting an eyelash.

Unlike the modern concrete cities up north, Bavaria is a region in southern Germany that depicts the archetypal Germany that we picture in our heads: The lederhosen, curvy girls in dirndls, beer for breakfast and where the language and accent are so strong, a senile tourist will suffer cerebrovascular stroke when someone greets him in German.

Bavaria may also refer to neighbouring cities in Czech Republic, Austria and Switzerland.

If someone blurts “Entschuldigung ihre Bestellung?” It may sound like he is cursing you to die a miserable death but he is actually just asking for your order.

Ordering may be a bit of a challenge for travellers, so we’re giving you options to order and you can practice nine months ahead of time.

Bratwursts

I knew from the signs I saw during my pre-trip research that my vacation in Munich would be a sausage-o-rama themed adventure. There are sausages of all colours, lengths and girths! You just need to choose which one you will fancy and you can take in. No pun intended.

It is served with a side called sauerkraut that I wasn’t a big fan of. Imagine a finely chopped cabbage fermented by bacteria until it turns sour. No offence, but that spells pre-chewed, swallowed and puked sides served while it’s still warm and juicy. Eventually I kind of started liking it, it went perfectly with smoked onion bratwurst and ice-cold beer.

The clear winner is the Münchner Weißwurst or the white Munich sausage served with pretzel and sweet mustard.

Herzhafter Schinken-Käse-Teller

This directly translates to super hearty ham and cheese platter to infinity and beyond, or something to that effect. It is a variety of thinly sliced speck with local cheese wedges and fruits or salad.

Bretzel

The oldest form of snack that originated in the medieval Bavaria, the subtle hint of sweetness in the dough with the rock salt seasoning is the taste that I have been craving post trip.
This is served with prosciutto and cheese for breakfast, meats and sausages for lunch and dinner and a popular pick for beermatch too. One local even told me that it goes well with a stick of joint.

Schweinshaxe

A pork knuckle marinated or pre-boiled in a caraway seed and garlic brine, roasted until the skin is crisp, and served with mustard, horseradish, and pickled chilli peppers. Sound familiar? Yes, CRISPY PATA!

The usual side dish is what they call Kartoffelkloesse, a form of potato dumpling, which I think I accidentally made years ago. I was making meatballs and I mistakenly used cornstarch instead of flour. It turned out to be a kitchen disaster and I wanted to bring the rubbery meatballs to my office and give it out as stress balls.

Emmentaler Käse

I have never seen that much variety of cheeses in one single store. It’s a heaven for cheese lovers like me as there are myriads of types of cheeses to choose from. Cheeses from different farm animals and fermented with possibly all the bacteria in the prokaryotic taxonomy…even people with cheese obsession and paraphilias will acquire lactose intolerance by merely looking at them.

With over 400 types in the region, people are raving about the Allgäuer mountain cheese or Emmentaler, made from the milk of brown-and-white coloured happy cows grazing in natural pastures of the Alps.

Apfelstrudel

Cream coloured ponies and crisp apple strudels are some of my favourite things too. The historic dessert has been the favourite coffee mate since 1696 and for sure, the flaky pastry with warm apple filling will bring out your inner Julie Andrews.

Wiener Schnitzel

Now this is my ultimate favourite. Wiener Schnitzel is a very thin, breaded and deep fried meat. But here’s the thing: IT SHOULD BE VEAL, not pork, not beef, not chicken and definitely not some hipster vegetarian meat. Although pork is half the price of the veal, you have to make sure to order the Wiener Schnitzel (Veal)… Trust me, anything with “wiener” in it should be good. I know wieners like my own wiener.

The basic German words you need to remember when dining should include Danke shoen to say thank you to the server and Prost before drinking beer. Prost should be said while looking straight into the eye of the person you are drinking with, or you will suffer seven years of bad sex.

If that doesn’t scare you enough, try pronouncing Donaudampfschiffahrtsgesellschaftskapitä! Obviously, whoever invented the language surely had a serious case of schadenfreude.

The tongue twisting German words may sound scary but the gastronomic satisfaction will surely twist your tongue beyond what a Bavarian crème filled doughnut can do. It is all worth it.

What’s your favourite Bavarian food?

Contributed by Flip’n Travels.