Melanie Lim
Faiqah, Sumaya, Me, Jahafar and Alvin in a cafe at Johor Bahru
With only five vacation days allotted for the trip, we decided to visit three cities: Johor Bahru, Malacca, and Kuala Lumpur. In between the endless amounts of food we devoured, sights we saw, and all the shopping we did, here are some key lessons I’ve learned from travelling together with my buddies:
1. Know that healthy compromise goes a long way
My friends and I are a ragtag bunch of misfits. Jahafar and Sumaya met in our second year of university and dated for two years before eventually tying the knot last December. They’re our clique’s mummy and daddy – a power couple we all look up to. Faiqah’s the punk rock goth princess, while Alvin is our go-to meme provider and designated photographer.
During our four years at University, we bonded over our collective differences and shared tendencies towards individualism and unconventionality. What held our friendship together was not so much similar interests as communal acceptance and love – things which so often triumphed over the disparities in our personalities.
2. Be clear about money matters
My friends and I set some ground rules when we were planning our trip. We agreed to collect a set amount of money from each person at the start of the day to form a group fund that we would use to pay for our meals, transport fares, and entry fees. Any leftover cash would be carried over to the next day, and there would be a person in charge of our funds for the day.
3. Drop the negativity
When you travel with friends, you really get to know them inside out. I was thankful to have been blessed with friends who loved me in spite of all the hassle I put them through, from the hour-long waits for the toilet at night to the copious amounts of toilet paper I needed to use every morning.
During our five-day trip together, all of us found things we disliked about each other. I couldn’t stand how Faiqah drenched the toilet paper every time she took a shower, while she couldn’t stand how I left my used tissues lying around our Airbnb. Sumaya was an early sleeper who hated it when we had midnight laughing fits over Faiqah’s hilarious Tinder matches.
Whenever things felt like they were heating up, we would stop in our tracks in order to prevent things from escalating into a full-blown argument. We also learned that disagreements were best resolved on the same day, and that apologies work wonders. We constantly reminded ourselves that we were on this trip to have fun and not to make each other’s lives miserable.
4. Appreciate how friends can help you through your midnight existential crises
Over the course of our trip, I had frequent bouts of existential crises. This happened at bedtime when I was supposed to be sleeping, with questions about life and the future preventing me from retiring for the night. Faiqah – who was rooming with me at the time – helped a great deal in discussing these deep-seated thoughts with me and allaying my fears. If not for her, I would have probably cried myself to sleep caught up in all my worries and ruining what should be an enjoyable vacation.
5. Give each other some breathing room
To good friends and even greater adventures
Traveling is a spectacular journey on its own, let alone when it’s done with friends. The five of us went through quite a bit over our five days together, from navigating completely new territory to learning how to get through both the ups and downs of travelling as a team. Needless to say, our friendship emerged only stronger after our amazing vacation together.
