Dina Malyana
The idea of travelling solo can be frightening, especially if you consider yourself an introvert or a shy person. Before embarking on the journey, one of your biggest, common worries will most probably revolve around the issue of not making any friends along the way. You don’t want to be completely alone and lonely while traversing foreign lands. Who does?
Also read: Read This If You Are Scared To Travel Alone
The good news is that this worry is often unfounded. I’ve never met a traveller, not even the ones I consider to be “shy”, who have regretted their leap of faith to travel alone. While there will be some days when you find yourself wandering around a new city alone, there will be more days spent having unforgettable adventures with newly-made friends. For my word of guarantee on this, follow these tried and tested (and proven to be true) methods:
Stay in hostels
Image credit: Andreas Praefcke
This has been said a million times, and I will repeat it on the grounds that it is a fantastic advice: stay in hostels. Staying in hostels is your one biggest bet to making new friends. I normally pick a four bed dorm over anything bigger because I find it most conducive for making friends. In a four bed dorm, there will be three people to get to know – not too intimidating, is it? You have to be really unfortunate to not have an opportunity to make at least one friend out of three strangers. Sadly, this actually happened to me once when I found myself in a room with three tightly knitted girls who were quite unfriendly – but this is a rare case and if it happens to you too, don’t be discouraged.
What I found really important is to start a conversation and introduce yourself the moment you first meet your dorm mates. Failure to do this will make starting a conversation in future ten times harder, so always be prepared for a chat the moment you enter the dorm room.
Don’t be afraid to approach people
When travelling, there will be countless of times when you need help. If you’re a shy person, there will also be countless of times when you feel reluctant to approach somebody for help. Nobody looks friendly enough, everybody seems to be in a rush, bla, bla, bla… Take this one from me: just move your ass and ask politely. I’ve been surprised again and again that the most unfriendly-looking people can suddenly transform into the next “nicest person I’ve ever met!” the moment you approach them for help. They may even turn out to be your new friend.
Keep this in mind: What’s the worst that can happen anyway?
Don’t be afraid to be the first to start a conversation
Image credit: The Hamster Factor
Consider this situation: you’re a shy person looking to make a friend, and the person in front of you is also shy and looking to make a friend. However, both of you are not going to take the initiative to start the conversation. Opportunity wasted!
So if you ever feel the urge to start a conversation, just go for it. Believe me, if you’re feeling lonely, this urge might actually grow to be so strong that you’ll find yourself chatting up anyone and everyone you meet. There was once when I was completely bored and lonely in a new city. While having lunch (alone, of course) in a restaurant, a girl carrying a huge backpack walked in. The words “hey, you can join me if you like” just slipped from my tongue before I was even aware of it.
She joined me. We became friends.
Know some basic conversation starters
Conversations with other travellers often begin with the same few questions like “where are you from?”, “how long have you been travelling?” and “where is your next destination?”. If you’re one of those people who feel uncomfortable to be the one talking most of the time, be the one to ask questions instead. Trust me, many people are keen to share about their lives and experiences. In fact, there are even those who absolutely love to talk about themselves, but let’s not get there. Asking questions is one sure way to have people open up to you, which is an integral step towards friendship. It’s not that hard if you’re curious and interested to get to know them. Wrap it up with a “hey, I’m going for lunch later, care to join?” and BAM, there you go, you have a new lunch buddy.
Also Read: 3 Things That Happen When You Finally Embark on Your First Solo Trip
Find avenues to make friends with locals
Travel is always more rewarding, enriching and even educational when you have a chance to discover a place with a local. Therefore, you should always find avenues to make friends with locals. An easy way to do this is to book your accommodation through Airbnb. Find hosts who are keen to not just share their home, but also their lives with you.
Another avenue is through Couchsurfing which, unknown to many, is not just a site to look for accommodation and surf couches. It is also where you can connect with locals who are keen to show you around their hometown. I’ve met a really nice guy in Istanbul who brought me and my friends to the best spots in the city, and we’re still in touch till now. Sign up for Couchsurfing and get in touch with potential hosts in every city you’re heading to. It’s up to you whether you want to pay USD 25 to be a verified member, but trust me, it’ll be money well spent.
Take part in social events
Image credit: Kalev Külaase
If you’re travelling around Europe, a fantastic opportunity to make friends is to go for the free walking tours available in many cities. Going on day tours is another option, as you’ll be stuck with the same bunch of people for some time. Other than that, many hostels organise social events like weekly movie or games nights and of course, pub crawls. A shy person will most definitely feel awkward to turn up alone at first, but the awkward phase will pass soon enough.
Say YES to new experiences
If you’re up for something crazy, take this up: say YES to every offer you get (with some good judgments, of course). Want to go for a midnight hike? YES. Want to wake up early to catch the sunrise? YES. Want to go skydiving? YES. Want to… YES! You get the picture. By saying “yes” to every offer (despite being slightly reluctant sometimes), you can truly say that you’ve seized every opportunity to socialise (and more) during a trip.
Don’t forget to keep in contact
After making a thousand new friends on the road, don’t just leave with good memories. Before the last goodbye, link up with them on Facebook or Instagram. This way, they’ll always be in your life… well, at least virtually. Also, if they are ever travelling to your country, you’ll have another chance to meet up and hang out.
A bunch of friends I’ve made on the road
I take my hat off all you shy travellers who are conquering your fears and embarking on a solo travel journey. The thing about travelling solo is that friendships are bound to form; it’s almost inevitable. I am a testament to that. So don’t worry because you’ll have a great time. Happy travelling!
Also Read: Why People Who Love Travel Make the Best Friends
